Torture Device

Tremble with fear master

You are not all that powerful...

I watched as he lay still on the bed. He was awake, I knew, but I couldn't help but feel worried that he was slowly slipping away. All the things he did in the past didn't matter now. Everything he'd done was only of instict to survive. Who could blame him?

"Nghh..." He groaned in pain as he tried to move into a more comfortable position on his side. I quickly rushed over to help him, but when I reached an arm over, he slapped it away, refusing my help. So stupid.

I glared at him, retreating a few steps back from the bed. Why'd he have to be like this? I wanted to help him, but he just couldn't understand a simple gesture like that.

After much struggle, he finally settled down, looking at me with cold, empty eyes and I stared back. We were communicating with silence, but I didn't know what he was trying to tell me. It was as if he were already dead.

I cringed, shuddering and trying to force the tears back. Was he doing this on purpose? How cruel. He was always so cruel, even now. Why?

I sighed, swallowing my feelings down and feeling the lump in my throat. This was just too upsetting to think about. Everything about him was just too much! If he kept this up...if he kept refusing to accept and acknowledge my presence here the way it is, then what would happen to him? No one else would care for him like I would.

And I was the only one he didn't want help from. The feeling of knowing this made my insides hurt, and my eyes itched with tears that have long waited to be cried. I rubbed my eyes, miserably, turning away so he couldn't see. I tried hard, but the tears just kept rolling down, one by one, and in no time, I was shaking and sobbing.

It was a miserable, horrible feeling, but a nice one as well. To finally let it all out. But then again, to let it all out where he could see. I'll never forgive myself for this, I thought, shaking my head as I gasped for air.

I felt a hand, gently patting my head. I sniffed my tears aside, looking up through my blurred eyes and saw his figure in front of me. Why does he make me feel like this? So much more inferior to him than I already am. And yet, I can't bring myself to hate him. I just can't.

He brushed my hair away from my face and just kept looking at me. I felt his eyes tearing into my soul as if he were the one being who could determine whether I could ever be worthy enough to be alive. I bit my lip, glaring down and refusing to meet his eyes. Because I'm not as weak as he thinks.

"But you are," he said, matter of factly. My heart stopped cold. He could even see what was so clearly written on my face. Was I really that blatantly obvious???

I won't smile again
I won't ever be loved
You can't do this to me
You can hear what I say so please talk to me
You never talk to me...
-Ra


***I'm bored...and I don't have writer's block...I just don't have much to write about =/